It's been a long dog, I mean time

Dear Diary

Seems I'm just about as good at keeping a diary as my Mum. Sorry to all my lovely friends for my long absence. So this will really be a quick update of some of my adventures.

When I left you I was in Timaru and having a great time. That great time continued. Mum and Aunty Sarah took me for a big walk through a thing called an estuary (it's just a fancy name for a swamp) and we ended up at a beach. It didn't seem like a beach to me at first, but Mum said that if I was in the UK (hi guys) this is what  most of their beaches are like. 

I had to check the beach for badgers, we had my little human friend with us and I couldn't let her get caught up in any evil badger plot. I was sure there was one where Aunty Sarah was sitting, but I must have scared it off with my awesome shovels of doom.

On the way back from the beach I decided that Mum really wasn't paying enough attention to what I was up to so I taught her a good lesson. It was even better because she was wearing her nice clothes and had the fancy camera! There was lots of long grass by the path, but I spotted a stream with some ducks in it. 

I've never really been interested in ducks before but they were just irresistible. A few bunny hops through the grass and then SPLASH! Ducks went quacking away and Mum came bounding through the grass. Unfortunately I had miscalculated the steepness of the banks of the stream and I couldn't get out. I was a bit worried till I saw Mum. Also it turned out the stream wasn't really full of water, but black stinky (YUSS) mud. It was hard to swim in. Mum whipped me out and I managed to get mud all over her. Then I spent lots of time trying to dry myself in the cut grass. 

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea (especially since I had to have a really loooooong bath to remove my glorious aroma).

That was my best Timaru adventure, but I also told lots of cows about how I'm the boss of them (they didn't listen).

I mastered the art of climbing up and sliding down the little human's cool slide.

And I partook of some civil disobedience. Mum says some rules are made to be bent a little!

Back home Mum has been poorly for a while, but we've still been meeting up with my new Pet Care friends. I've had great walks with them, although that sexy beast Kaiser seems to have fallen out of love with me now. Sad.

At least Otto still plays with me a bit. And after a rough start the tiny bully Millicent and I are getting on much better. 

I also went on an adventure to a Beech Forest, but I didn't like it. There were millions of wasps around and I got stung buy a wasp (but I showed it by eating it) and a bee. It made me really sad so Mum carried me. It was disappointing cause I love native forests. 

Below are lots of pics of my fun times. They say a picture is worth a really large amount of words so these will save you from having to spend the rest of the day reading this. 

Thursday *Summer Fun*

Dear Diary,

Another scorchingly hot day. And a busy one too. We went into the office this morning, which I always like because of the fuss everyone makes over me. Of course! But also there is a cool grassy area out the back with bushes and sometimes there's even dead birds and other dog poop hidden in there! I bet there is a badger hiding in there somewhere too. 

It was already very hot by 10am, Mum said it was 30 degrees (whatever a degrees is) and that seems like a lot. I made sure to spend plenty of time snuffling through the bushes in the shade while Mum stood in the hot sun waiting for me. Lots of ladies from the building next to ours came out on their balcony so I made a run for it through the bushes so I could tell them all about myself in my loudest voice. Mum was not impressed and I got taken straight inside and put in my Penny pen. Sigh, she just doesn't understand. 

After a bit more work Mum and I got into the car and cranked up the air con and drove all over the place. I went into a glass place and a library and even a tattoo parlor  It was cool going into so many new places. I snuck into the library in Mum's bag because we weren't sure if dogs were allowed and no one even noticed me. I am a stealth ninja!

Once we got home it was really hot so I decided the best place to lie would be the brick patio. Hmmmmm hot. Mum had other ideas and put the sprinkler on to water the garden and me! I don't really love the sprinkler, but when Mum throws treats under it you can bet I'm going in there to get them.

Rolling round on the hot bricks after was sooooo nice.

Then Dad came home for work early and we went to the beach. The wind was just picking up when we got there so it was nice. I did so much swimming. Dad was really surprised how good I am at swimming for lots of minutes and Mum was proud. I was a bit annoyed at all the swimming, a lady doesn't like to be wet, and told everyone that Mum and Dad were abusing me. Everyone just thought I was cute and a good water dog. Humph!

After we'd all cooled off we headed home, and just in time too because the wind had really picked up and the sand was blasting me. I don't like that at all, stupid sand. 

I was tired out from all the beach fun so it was an evening of many naps for me. What a great day! 

Sunday *Mountain Biking Adventure*

Dear Diary

Today was amazing! Well the bit first thing in the morning wasn't really amazing. At first I thought it was because I managed to get into the compost bin and dig into where some sun dried tomato oil had been thrown. It smelt so good and I rolled in it lots. Unfortunately I had to fight through jungles of biddy-bids and managed to get little spiky ball stuff all over me. And the oil of course. Mum and Dad were both unimpressed so not only did I have to have an uber bath, I had to get brushed lots. Sucky! I did not like. 

Luckily for Mum she made up for it by taking me on a new adventure. I got put in my doggie back pack and we went for a drive all across town. When we got to the place Mum put on a helmet, put me on and got on her mountain bike. Yes! We went speeding off through the forest and the next thing I know we were at the beach. Holy digging up the badgers and rolling in the sand it was good.

Although I quickly learnt that Mum was intent on making me swim, she said because I was a greasy monster. I've got video evidence of her terrible mistreatment of me, even when I was telling her I didn't want to be in the sea anymore. 

I did want to run around and dig in the sand and chase other dogs and smell all the things, but that had to come to an end and I had to go back into the backpack. I did not want! Mum fooled me with treats though and soon we were off again.

Whizzing through the forest, up hills and round corners and over very small jumps. Mum was good and went pretty fast. 

I didn't have to tell her off once for being to slow. There was so much to see, it was great. 

Then Mum got off her bike and let me out and I got to run around in the trees. So good! It was just brilliant to be able to climb the logs and dig in the needley things and sniff all the trails and hide in the undergrowth and chase mum through the trees and run and run and run!

Once we were out of the forest I had to be good and walk nicely on my lead and I did it really well to thank Mum for such a great time. At home we all napped in the afternoon, including Dad although I'm not sure why, he hadn't been on an awesome adventure. It was nice sleeping in the sun with him though. 

What a great day, I hope I get to go on more adventures soon!

Wednesday *Scorchio*

Dear Diary

I'm a hot dog on another amazing Christchurch hot day. And a busy one too. Mum seemed to have her phone thing stuck to her ear most of the morning, so I helpfully finished my excavations of the chilli plant. 

Finally she got all my walking essentials together and then took me to the vets! Whut? Luckily I love going there and it turned out we were only going to get that black cat's yummy food (I love it so much, but always get in trouble for eating it), and to drop off the spine book for the vets to read. Of course all the nurses snuggled me and gave me treats and complimented me on my gorgeous figure.

Then we went to the dog park by the quarry so I could run and run and run and run. And wait for Mum. She's so slow! Of course there were new friends to meet and Mum made me go swimming cause she said little black dogs need to swim when it is over 30 degrees. I obliged until a big playful lab started jumping around in the pond. 

After more running and hill climbing we had to go to the office where Mum was stuck to her phone again. We weren't there long (I hardly had time to nap) before we left and I got to do my most important job at work, charming the customers. We went to a building that had a box that was magic. There was a dog in it that looked just like me and it felt weird and when the doors opened we were in a new place. Mum talked to a nice lady and I gave her kisses and she was very happy. All in a days work.

Back at home it got hotter and hotter and I found some nice shade for napping. Dad came home early and I was so excited I had a wee accident, sorry Mum. Then Mum got my beach bag out and we went to the my favourite beach. Mum said I had to do lots of swimming because it was nearly 35 degrees now. So I did.

I ran with Mum through the warm shallow bits, and then swum a bit. Then Mum went in a deep bit and a leapt in to rescue her and climbed on her head. I didn't try to rescue Dad when he went swimming, he's big enough to look after himself. Instead I rolled in the warm sand and looked for badgers.

Then I went swimming with two little dogs, they were enjoying it, but I wasn't really and told Mum all about it. But she made me swim some more so I got quite vocal while I swum. Mum gave me treats though and said I was a really great swimmer now who can even go against currents. Whatever those are, I thought they were for eating.

So now I'm a tired sausage again. But a very happy one. 

Saturday *Life is a Beach*

Dear Diary

The hot summer weather has returned to Christchurch and while my northern hemisphere friends are bounding about in the snow I'm bounding about in the sand.

It was a scorcher today so Mum decided it was time to visit a different beach for me to play on. But first we had to go to a MILLION shops, and by we I don't mean me, although I did get to go into the one where mum got a thing for her camera. Mostly I just stayed in the car with Mum while Dad did stuff. We drove around so many places that I thought we were going on a big trip and fell asleep. Finally we got to the beach and it was rad (as one of my favourite UK mates would say). Mum says that I am very lucky to have so many different beaches within 15 minutes drive from our house, but surely everyone has the same thing.

This beach is long, like me, and has surf and lots of people and dogs to play with. I did discover that the sea here is really sneaky. One minute I was telling Mum what a great time I was having, the next it was grabbing me! Cheeky.

I didn't mind being wet cause it was so hot, and I am now an awesome swimming dog who is not afraid of the sea at all. But it is rather impolite to sneak up on a Lady. After plenty of running around I found a nice place to rest and chew on a delicious salty pine cone. I really think Mum and Dad need to sort things out and get a good supply of pine cones in our backyard. Slackers.

Then it was time, again, for practicing posing on a log, especially for my UK friends who know the importance of log sitting. I think I nailed it. 

I am a deep, sensitive soul, mysterious and wistful

After so much fun there really was nothing for it but to sleep all afternoon, but I decided that Mum really should rest after such a big walk so I made sure to lie on her neck as much as I could. Then that evening we had one of Christchurch's infamous earthquakes. This is only the second one I've felt, but Mum says there's been over 11,000! It was a loud roary thing, but I was louder and scared it off with my fearsome barking. Mum and Dad were both grateful, but that stupid black cat didn't even wake up. He should be more grateful to me.  How does he expect to be the head of the pack if he doesn't care about earthquakes?