Tuesday *A Nap I Think*

Dear Diary

Yaaaaaaaaawn. After yesterday's excellent fun and games I've been very tired all day today. I couldn't even be bothered nagging Mum for breakfast, although when she did decide it was time to play hide and seek with my chicken necks I was very happy. But after breakfast it was time for a nap.

Next thing I know Mum is flapping about, putting my collar and lead on me and rushing out the door. I really couldn't be bothered with all this fuss so I napped in the car too.

We picked up Dad and I thought we were going to the beach because that was the road we were on, but then we turned off and I got taken to a strange office. It was Mum and Dad's architect and I was very good and helped make lots of important decisions and also gave the architect some great ideas. He decided I should stay with him, but Mum wasn't very keen on that.

When we got home there was a parcel from the UK in the mailbox! Yay, the book from my lovely overseas friends Lottie and Duke. Gorgeous Lottie is currently battling a horrible cancer so you should all go to their page and send her lots of healthy healing vibes. So the book is all about Dachshund Spines and Mum and I sat down to read it immediately. Well I kind of lay down to read it if I'm honest. 

Mum was very excited to learn so much and know all the right things to do to look after my back. She's particularly happy that all the swimming, walking, playing and climbing I do will make me nice and strong and keep my long spine safe. If fact she was so excited to see that climbing stairs is good for me she made me run up them twice in a row (but she wouldn't let me go down them OR explore the upstair, spoilsport).

Guess what I did after that? If you said Nap you're right. All that napping is tiring work so an early night is on the cards. 

Monday *Slaving Away and Learning about Cats*

Dear Diary

Monday's really are a lot of work aren't they. I made an early start today as Mum was busy and so I got down to some gardening chores that I felt needed to be completed. First I turned the soil for Mum to make sure her chilli and tomato are going well. Then I removed some weed mat that Mum obviously didn't need there anymore. I was going to bring it inside so I could show her, but then I remembered the potting mix incident so I just left it by the door. I'm a good dog. 

Mum still didn't seem very happy, so I thought I'd help her do some research. She pointed out the library books aren't for chewing so I was on my best behaviour. 

 

Turns out research is really boring, even if it is children's books, so I did what I do best and slept. Mum was really busy so it took ages for me to get my walk. Mum said we were going to a big park on the other side of town. I've been there before and I liked it because it has agility things and a river and countryside and lots and lots of friends to play with. Today was no different. I was ace at agility.

And I played with everyone!

You'll note I'm swimming in one of the above shots. Mum tricked me into it because apparently jumping around in mud isn't ideal for going home in the car. That's my new friend Teddy I'm chasing, he was after my treat, tricksy little thing!

After all the playing it is always important to have some Mum and me time, otherwise she gets sad, so we headed off along the country walk. Mum wanted me to use my awesome tracking skills and hid on top of a little hill. Lets just say it didn't go well and it took me about 6 circuits of the hill work out where Mum was. Lucky she had the good treats waiting. Then further on I met the BIGGEST dog eva! She was on the other side of a fence with lots of other big dogs so I couldn't play with her. Maybe some other time.

I was really tired after my big walk, but I think that was Mum's plan all along because then she took me to place where men looked at her car and went under it and opened it up and drove it on spinney things. It took forEVER, but even though it was really boring I only grumbled a little bit. I'm a good dog.

After that I thought the excitement of the day was well and truly over, but after dinner Mum got my lead out again and we got back into the car! Brilliant. Off we went to visit Aunty Paula and Uncle Robert from work and their three sausages (and two mean cats). I had the best time running around madly with Hugo (although he seemed to have ulterior motives which embarrassed his parents and made my Mum laugh). She did tell me off for leading him on though and that I shouldn't wind up older men. I was extra good and gentle with lovely Ruby who is very old, but still likes to play a bit. 

The only one I couldn't charm was beautiful Alice who doesn't like me and hid on her mum all night.  

I also tried my best to play with the two cats they all live with. I thought they'd be like that black cat that lives with us and I could chase them and have a brilliant time. I was wrong. They are tough cats and try as I might they wouldn't run. 

In the end one beat me up so now I've decided that the black cat I live with might not be so bad. I maybe might be a little bit nicer to him.

Sunday *Nothing Like a Bush Walk*

Dear Diary,

Meh, Sunday mornings. No one pays me enough attention and I got in trouble this morning for wanting to play with the vacuum thing. Usually I can't be bothered with it, but Mum took the weird bristly endy bit off and I stuck my nose in the tube and it was brilliant. I have no idea why Mum didn't think so. After that Mum moved things around on the benches, and put things in water and generally didn't play or snuggle me at all not good enough! 

She did promise that when she was finished we'd go somewhere special for a walk and she was right. But, and this is a big butt she also did something very stupid, which I'll of course forgive her for because she is generally intelligent and amazing and she reads this diary and controls my food. Love you Mum! Anyway we go to this amazing place and she started taking pictures and then realised she hadn't put some card thing in the camera, so no pics with that. Luckily she had her phone thingee which photos too so all was not lost. 

We were at a place up the top of the hills just above town and the views were gorgeous. Not that I cared. The freshly mown grass there was just the best for barreling through. Dad decided I should pay more attention to my surroundings though. 

I didn't look at it out of spite for being picked up in such an undignified manner in front of a cute cocker spaniel called Fonz who I wanted to play with (he didn't want to play with me and his dad called him a wuss.)

After admiring the view came the betterest bit. We went into the bush! And I don't mean some little bushes, this was proper native bush forest and the smells were Ah-maze-ing! I had to stay on a lead cause of a dumb sign, but Mum had the long rope so I got to run around heaps and heaps. It was magic and I want more!

After all the running around Mum announced it was time to go to the pub so we headed to my favourite one called the Brewery. They like dogs and all the staff fuss over me and they have good pizzas and sometimes Mum drops bits of cheese on the ground. She is a messy eater. Today they also had live music, so I chilled out to the great sounds and let everyone admire me. 

Then we had to so shopping, although to me it just seemed like wandering round and making people fall in love with me and looking cool. Which of course I did with my Walk this Way collar and lead. Here I am trying to get Mum cute puppy discount by schmoozing the lady at the Dead Set Boutique.

And here I am surveying the First Few Shops at the new Tannery Emporium. Obviously I class up the place. 

I was pretty pooped after all this but when we got home Dad decided that black cat should learn to stand up to me. I was not impressed, but I felt a bit better knowing he wasn't either and the first chance he got to escape from Dad he took. I encouraged him up the tree again, because obviously he likes it so much and I am very helpful.

So tired now. Must be bedtime.

Saturday *Life is a Beach*

Dear Diary

The hot summer weather has returned to Christchurch and while my northern hemisphere friends are bounding about in the snow I'm bounding about in the sand.

It was a scorcher today so Mum decided it was time to visit a different beach for me to play on. But first we had to go to a MILLION shops, and by we I don't mean me, although I did get to go into the one where mum got a thing for her camera. Mostly I just stayed in the car with Mum while Dad did stuff. We drove around so many places that I thought we were going on a big trip and fell asleep. Finally we got to the beach and it was rad (as one of my favourite UK mates would say). Mum says that I am very lucky to have so many different beaches within 15 minutes drive from our house, but surely everyone has the same thing.

This beach is long, like me, and has surf and lots of people and dogs to play with. I did discover that the sea here is really sneaky. One minute I was telling Mum what a great time I was having, the next it was grabbing me! Cheeky.

I didn't mind being wet cause it was so hot, and I am now an awesome swimming dog who is not afraid of the sea at all. But it is rather impolite to sneak up on a Lady. After plenty of running around I found a nice place to rest and chew on a delicious salty pine cone. I really think Mum and Dad need to sort things out and get a good supply of pine cones in our backyard. Slackers.

Then it was time, again, for practicing posing on a log, especially for my UK friends who know the importance of log sitting. I think I nailed it. 

I am a deep, sensitive soul, mysterious and wistful

After so much fun there really was nothing for it but to sleep all afternoon, but I decided that Mum really should rest after such a big walk so I made sure to lie on her neck as much as I could. Then that evening we had one of Christchurch's infamous earthquakes. This is only the second one I've felt, but Mum says there's been over 11,000! It was a loud roary thing, but I was louder and scared it off with my fearsome barking. Mum and Dad were both grateful, but that stupid black cat didn't even wake up. He should be more grateful to me.  How does he expect to be the head of the pack if he doesn't care about earthquakes? 

Friday *Leader of the Pack*

Brrrm Brrrm

Dear Diary

The rain has stopped! So I got to go for a big walk at the dog park on top of the hills. Here's a picture of the view from the dog park, you can see the whole city, the big water that surrounds us (Mum says it's the Pacific Ocean, I say it's my swimming pool), and in the distance a mountain range. I don't care, but Mum says we are spoiled to have views like this when we walk. 

As you can also see I made new friends on my walk today. Mum says I bullied them but I just like playing and sometimes other dogs need encouragement!

It's a hug, really it is!

I met lots of other dogs too and even watched some big dogs playing (I was just trying to copy them with the little dogs).

After that Mum and I had some quality time together and she helped me work on my supermodel poses, which I think are coming along quite well. Soon I'll be as good as my hero Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund!

After such a fun walk I was pooped, but mum made me go to work! What? We haven't been to work all week, what a drag. Luckily it was Friday so I did my usual job of keeping the peace by sleeping. It is probably the most important job in the office so I take it very seriously. 

After charming all mum's upstairs colleagues at drinks (pretty sure that was the only reason we went to work) we came home and napped in the sun. I'm glad mum likes sleeping as much as I do, although I've heard her mention to Dad that she can't wait till she's better and doesn't have to sleep during the day. I'm not sure what that means, but it seems to me that sleeping all day is the best thing you can do for your health!

It's the weekend tomorrow, YAY! I get to play with Mum And Dad. Happy barks. 

Thursday * Rain! Do Not Like

Dear Diary

I can't believe it rained here all day, I thought this was supposed to be summer. Because it was so yucky and cold I decided I should make up for my bad behaviour of yesterday and give Mum lots of snuggles. She was really grateful and gave me lots of hugs and face boops. Bliss.

Of course I couldn't just behave all day so I had to attack her lovely fuzzy slippers for quite a long time. They taste good.

And of course I had to explore the new lounge layout and try and figure out how to get onto the bench.

Unfortunately, as awesome as I am at jumping, I realise that even my powers of propulsion will not get me to the bench. Especially since Mum and Dad keep so much junk on it, ensuring there is no suitable dachshund landing strip. Rude!

The rest of the day was spent chewing one of my large array of sticks.

I have one for every occasion. Mum thinks the best thing about my sticks is that ALL of the toys she's ever bought me are still in tact because I prefer to destroy these. I think I'll have problems with the one second from the right, it's my latest find and is awesome.

The other great thing about my sticks, and all my toys really, is that Mum keeps them in this awesome toy box that I can fit in so I have to hunt things out. It is great fun and Mum says it's great preparation for when I finally dig up a badger.

It also makes a great raised sleeping platform! Not as good as a bean bag, but still good.

Speaking of sleeping, time to do more of that. Lets hope for more sun tomorrow!

Wednesday * Must Climb ALL The Things!

Dear Diary,

I'm afraid I've been naughty today, all day long. I couldn't help it. Mum is sick again and was lying on the couch not paying me enough attention, AND the cat seems to be usurping my place in the pack, and I hadn't been for a walk. There was really only one thing for it, I had to prove that anywhere the cat can go I can too!

I've recently got tall enough to jump up onto the couches so it was really easy to get onto the bench from there as the couch is against the back of the bench. I've been doing this for a few days now. It gets Mum to come straight downstairs since she put that stupid baby gate up. Of course I get told off and crated, but it works every time so I'm not going to stop. Hahahaha!

I've also worked out I can get onto the window sill where that black cat gets fed so I had myself some of his yummy food a couple of times. Mummy was really annoyed and I got lonely timeout for a long time after the second time I did it.

But my best achievement was getting up onto the high outdoor table where that black cat lounges about and eats the green plants that make him all silly. I'm not telling anyone how I did it, but I could tell Mum was really impressed cause she didn't tell me off or anything until she had me by my scruff. I was in big trouble again.

Since I was already in trouble I spent as much time as I could harassing that black cat too. Mummy seemed really unhappy about this, but that'll teach her that I'm the boss, not the stupid cat.

Now Dad has completely rearranged the lounge so I can't get on the bench and Mum has moved everything away from the outside table and the cat food is somewhere else I can't get to so my fun is a bit spoiled. Luckily there's still lots of things to climb every where so I can keep climbing. I love it.

I think I'll be nicer to Mum tomorrow though, I don't like it when she's sad. (I will still try and eat her delicious slippers though!)