Wednesday *Playing with the Terrible Trio*

Dear Diary

After all the excitement of yesterday I've been very tired all day. Luckily napping is one of my many specialties! And when I wasn't sleeping I was thinking about sleeping...

...or begging for food. Mum is such a meanie though, my begging never works! I always have to work for my treats.

But it wasn't just a lazy day. I got to visit my lovely friends Ruby, Hugo and Alice at Aunty Paula and Uncle Robert's. Last time I visited Alice was very grumpy at me. She had a bad experience with a nasty dog so she is a bit of a worrier now. This time she was much braver and even played with me for a little bit before she remembered she had to growl at me. I'll win her over soon though!

As usual Hugo was VERY excited to see me. Mum is very relieved that she made me have that yucky operation just before Christmas, even though Hugo doesn't really know what he's doing. Mum and Dad found it very funny. I'll admit that I did lead him on a bit, giving him kisses as soon as I arrived!

But when I got tired of his slightly inept attentions I showed him that I'm really the boss.

Everyone found this very amusing and then it was time for treats! Yay treats. It all started off well with a treat scramble from Aunty Paula. We were all excited and played together nicely.

Then mean Mum decided that I had to show everyone how I get treats in my house. I had to sit and wait.

I had to lie down.

I had to roll.

And I had to give Mum a paw.

Of course I did it all, and then I had a quiet word with lovely Ruby. She is an old wise lady who I'm distantly related to. She's a Vidlynn like me!

After all the humans went inside to sit round and drink tea I found a rawhide chew in the garden! What a score. So I ran round and round and round while Hugo chased me more. Finally we both got bored of that went inside. I'm glad we did because when I got in there the two mean cats that live with Ruby and Hugo and Alice where plotting something. 

I'm not sure what it was, but I was extra cautious in case of a surprise clawed attack. Hugo, bless him, just looked please with his supposed conquest of me. Ha! He mainly conquested the lawn.

It was a great night and Mum and Dad really enjoyed it too, which is always a nice bonus. I think that next time we visit I might even be able to persuade Alice to play with me too.

Tuesday *Caution - Will Give you Kisses*

Dear Diary, 

Mum really made up for yesterday (she always does). After breakfast we headed up the hill to the dog park with a view and I was a little tricksy sausage and jumped out of the car before Mum had hold of my lead properly. Silly Mum. She then got all shouty and mental, but I ignored her till she calmed down and called me properly. I came straight away then. Sometimes humans need extra training. 

I had an awesome walk and played with loads of labs today. There must have be 8 or 9 in the park at one point. Mum had to explain to all their owners that I can play with big dogs and not to worry because I am clever and sneaky. It was great fun chasing the big silly dogs. 

Then a lady with two rat terriers came along and she was really worried her dogs would think I was a rat! How rude. I showed her! I ran rings around her dogs and pushed them over, cause I'm much bigger than them, it's just that the lady couldn't tell. Mum had to spend a long time reassuring the lady that I was fine. She was funny. 

I was even really good at the end of the walk and came for Mum to put my lead on, even though she'd forgotten the treats. Sometimes I think Mum is losing her mind!

Later in the day I got to visit one of my favourite people in the whole world. Els! She was my teacher at puppy school and I love her lots because she's very clever and she taught Mum how to be a good Mum and she gives me lots of snuggles. She's just the best. If you're in Christchurch and you want products or dog training she's the best EVA! Go to www.trainimals.com

While we were there I got to try out and model some exciting new leads. They are from www.safetycollars.co.nz and I think I looked very tough and intimidating in the cool Caution one I modelled. 

Don't I look tough! 

Lightening tongue is coming for you! 

I think Mum should think about getting me the training one because when we go on our training walks round the block everyone wants to talk to me and I'm easily distracted. It's tough being so cute!

After that we went for a visit to Lyttelton. Mum told me that in the big earthquake lots of it got smashed, but that it is still a cool place. I agree. We got to go through this really long tunnel which was weird for me. Then we walked all around the town and looked at all the fun community things that have been done to replace all the broken buildings.

It is a place called a port and I got my usual pats from everyone, even some big tough sailors. I'm beginning to think no one can resist me. I was tired after all the good on the lead walking so I employed a technique I'm learning from my friend called Sir Roger. It's the flop. For of those you that want to master it, just let all your whole body get all relaxdy and lie on the ground. There's nothing anyone can to do make you walk. I find it particularly annoys Mum if I add a "what is the problem" look as well. Tee hee!

I'm very excited about tomorrow night. I'm off to visit Aunty Paula and Uncle Robert again so I'll get to play with Ruby and Hugo and maybe Alice. Mum says I should wear a chastity belt, but I'm not going to!

Monday *Why I don't like the Cat*

Dear Diary

Today was boring. Of course I did my best to entertain myself while Mum was useless, but mainly I was just bored. I tried to get Mum's attention by bringing my new loooooooong stick in the house, but she didn't mind. Spoilsport. 

I tried get her attention by taking various inside things outside, but she just lay there. I even tried digging up her precious tomato plant, but I just got put in jail. Poop.

Anyway what really bugged me today was the cat, so I thought I would explain why I think he's a dick.

1. He bosses Mum and Dad around. I can't believe the cheek of him. He'll come swanning home (does that mean he swims or flies?) and start yelling at Mum and Dad. They must immediately go upstairs with him and either turn on the shower so he can have a drink or go to bed. It doesn't matter what time it is. 2 o'clock in the afternoon, everyone (except me of course) has to go to bed so he can have a nap.

Which brings me to number 2. He gets to sleep on Mum and Dad's bed! What! I'm not even allowed in their bedroom and he gets to sleep on their bed. So unfair. I'm not sure why he's allowed when he always wakes Dad up at 5am and demands food (see number 1). Mum told me that he puts his paw on Dad's eye and slowly extends his claws till he get what he wants. I'd be in jail for the rest of my life if I tried that.

3. He makes Mum bleed. One of the things he demands is pats (I can understand that), but if the pats are too short, too long, or in the wrong place on his body he deals out the claw filled whacks. There's no warning, and sometimes he sets traps just so he can give you whacks. He's tried it with me a few times, lying on his back exposing his belly. Mum says it is the softest fur ever, but no one can touch it without losing skin.

4. He's far too fussy. He can only be patted on the forehead, in front of his ears, on his cheeks and under his chin. Sometimes he'll let Mum pat his front paws and his chest, but that is risky. I think he should be grateful for any pats like I am, where ever they are. 

5. He won't play with me. I know he likes to play. I've seen him chasing grass, chasing his tail, chasing his toys, but he won't play when I want to. He won't chase me and he won't let me chase him. Sometimes he whacks me when I'm too insistent on playing. I don't care. I'm going to keep trying till he plays.

6. He worries Mum and Dad. Sometimes he goes away for a long time, like a whole day and that worries Mum. Sometimes he hides in the clothes cupboard upstairs and no one can find him and he gets locked in and that worries Mum and Dad. Sometimes he gets in fights with other cats and has to go to the vet because he gets sick and that worries Mum and Dad lots. I don't like it when they are worried.

So that's why I think that black cat is a dick. I'm sure you agree with me, but Mum and Dad don't. They love him just as much as me, even though he's mean to them or just lies around sleeping all day. 

Also he's secretly evil! 

Sunday *Mountain Biking Adventure*

Dear Diary

Today was amazing! Well the bit first thing in the morning wasn't really amazing. At first I thought it was because I managed to get into the compost bin and dig into where some sun dried tomato oil had been thrown. It smelt so good and I rolled in it lots. Unfortunately I had to fight through jungles of biddy-bids and managed to get little spiky ball stuff all over me. And the oil of course. Mum and Dad were both unimpressed so not only did I have to have an uber bath, I had to get brushed lots. Sucky! I did not like. 

Luckily for Mum she made up for it by taking me on a new adventure. I got put in my doggie back pack and we went for a drive all across town. When we got to the place Mum put on a helmet, put me on and got on her mountain bike. Yes! We went speeding off through the forest and the next thing I know we were at the beach. Holy digging up the badgers and rolling in the sand it was good.

Although I quickly learnt that Mum was intent on making me swim, she said because I was a greasy monster. I've got video evidence of her terrible mistreatment of me, even when I was telling her I didn't want to be in the sea anymore. 

I did want to run around and dig in the sand and chase other dogs and smell all the things, but that had to come to an end and I had to go back into the backpack. I did not want! Mum fooled me with treats though and soon we were off again.

Whizzing through the forest, up hills and round corners and over very small jumps. Mum was good and went pretty fast. 

I didn't have to tell her off once for being to slow. There was so much to see, it was great. 

Then Mum got off her bike and let me out and I got to run around in the trees. So good! It was just brilliant to be able to climb the logs and dig in the needley things and sniff all the trails and hide in the undergrowth and chase mum through the trees and run and run and run!

Once we were out of the forest I had to be good and walk nicely on my lead and I did it really well to thank Mum for such a great time. At home we all napped in the afternoon, including Dad although I'm not sure why, he hadn't been on an awesome adventure. It was nice sleeping in the sun with him though. 

What a great day, I hope I get to go on more adventures soon!

Saturday *To Bee or Not to Bee*

Dear Diary,

What sort of Saturday would it be without spending time in the garden? Probably a rainy one I guess, but today was not that so I spent some quality time hunting snails (note to my overseas readers snails DO NOT carry heart or lung worm in NZ, it does not exist here so this is not dangerous and my Mum is not irresponsible letting me do this) and smelling the flowers. 

Of course smelling flowers really means chasing bees and Mum tells me off and calls me names like silly and stupid and asks me if I'll ever learn.

What I think she is referring to is the time I actually caught a bumblebee, because I am an awesome hunter, and she had to take me to the emergency vets. She said at the time it was typical of me to do something so silly and worrying on a public holiday. She also said I looked very funny and cute. I don't know what she means. 

I really didn't enjoy that experience but I don't see why it would happen if I caught another bee or two. Or more. 

After that Dad was doing some DIY and that black cat was helping. I really couldn't be having that, he'd just ruin everything for Dad so I carefully chased him away. He came back and seemed quite insistent on staying, he even whacked me in the nose a couple of times, but he ran off so I know that I'm still the boss.

After that I got down to the real work of helping Dad. He rudely suggested a couple of times that I wasn't actually helping, but more getting in the way and causing trouble. The nerve.

Mum has been under the weather again today so I didn't get a walk till later and then it was a big long lead training session. Pooh. I hate lead training. I don't really like being on the lead either, but at least I get to sniff loads of things. I was good on the walk out, but the walk back took a very long time and we went back and forth and round in circles quite a lot. Don't tell Mum but sometimes I just do it on purpose to make her look silly. Tee hee! I'm hoping Mum will feel better tomorrow and we can go on an adventure.

Friday *Serious Working Type Dog*

Dear Diary

Today seemed to be quite a serious day. Things started well enough with the breakfast hunt, but then Mum was stuck on the phone thingee again. When my collar and lead came out I naturally thought we were off on another awesome adventure, but nooooooo! Today Mum made me do serious walking on a lead. After a bit of an enthusiastic start and some going round in circles in front of the house, I soon realised it was serious walking time and did a really good job of walking on a loose lead.

When we go to the local little park it was full of children so Mum didn't let me off. What a jip! I love licking children. Instead we ran together, which must have looked funny cause Mum was looking all fancy for work. After the park the serious walking continued until I thought I'd finally found a badger hole. It was deep and disappeared under the pavement and wasn't there last week. 

I had a little investigate but Mum said it wasn't a badger hole, it was just another earthquake hole and I should be careful. So I was.

After we got home and I got treats and snuggles for my good serious walking (we only had to turn around once) it was straight back out to visit all my friends at the Tannery pop up shops. They are having something called a sale which Mum was quite keen on, but I don't care about that sort of thing. I had lots of snuggles while Mum shopped at Flock, Dead Set and finally settled on some bracelets from Where the Fox Lives (I didn't find any foxes though so I think that shop might be lying). I thought they were pretty cool so I tried one out. I'm a rock chick!

After a serious lunch where I sat like a good girl on a chair the whole time, it was off to the office. Boring. And serious. Seriously boring.

Mum did lots of work and I did lots of sleep. Then we all went upstairs for a serious meeting, which was actually serious and even Mum was bored. 

Finally my friend Steve came up and that was better and he played with me and got me excited. For a while. All that seriousness was quite tiring so I'm glad to be home and curled up between Mum and Dad on the couch. That black cat has jumped up next to Dad though. I'm trying to be good, but he keeps hitting me with his tail and poking me with his paw. Such a dick. 

Thursday *Mum falls in love with another dog!*

Dear Diary

What a day. It started out well enough. I got my usual morning snuggles before breakfast, a game of hunt out breakfast in the garden, some games in the lounge and then off to the office. Some of you might think being in the office is boring. No no no! There are lots of shoes to lick and socks to nibble. Everyone gives me pats and the naps are awesome. And there's always some sort of hijinks to get up to. Like looking for exciting things under the upstairs couches.

I found a cool ball thing and Mum and Dad laughed at me when I wiggled out from under it. Sometimes I get a cool box to play with, or in. Today's one was awesome.

And I get to do my stair running up too!

Mum got some sad news in the afternoon from lovely friend so we left early. I wish was able to be with her friend right now and give her my best kisses and nose boops and neck nuzzles. I love her. 

We went up the hill to the high up dog park and Mum was a stupid again and forgot to take any photoing devices. Seriously if this continues I'm going to have employ a photographer. 

It was a great walk with lots and lots of fun dogs to play with. I really enjoyed playing with a naughty Spoodle. The first time I saw her she was brilliant white with black spots and wouldn't stop playing even when her Dad called. Mum told me I was setting a very good example with my excellent recall. Then later in the walk we saw her again, but she wasn't white anymore. She was completely covered in mud. Mum told me this was because she was a little trickster and her Dad needed more practice at recall. I thought it was funny and loved playing with her again, even though I ended up quite muddy.

Then something happened to Mum. Another sausage came into the park and it was a mini wire hair called Bella. Mum went mental. Bella was very pretty but didn't want to play with me so I went and played with some other dogs nearby. Mum didn't come though (maybe I should use treats?), she sat on the ground and made all sorts of embarrassing noises and rubbed it's belly and made a spectacle of herself. I pretended she wasn't mine. 

After that she wouldn't stop going on about Bella, lucky I'm not the jealous type. I think when I'm more grown up I'm going to end up with a wiry brother. That'll be rad though, cause that black cat still won't play with me. He's a stupidhead. 

Wednesday *Scorchio*

Dear Diary

I'm a hot dog on another amazing Christchurch hot day. And a busy one too. Mum seemed to have her phone thing stuck to her ear most of the morning, so I helpfully finished my excavations of the chilli plant. 

Finally she got all my walking essentials together and then took me to the vets! Whut? Luckily I love going there and it turned out we were only going to get that black cat's yummy food (I love it so much, but always get in trouble for eating it), and to drop off the spine book for the vets to read. Of course all the nurses snuggled me and gave me treats and complimented me on my gorgeous figure.

Then we went to the dog park by the quarry so I could run and run and run and run. And wait for Mum. She's so slow! Of course there were new friends to meet and Mum made me go swimming cause she said little black dogs need to swim when it is over 30 degrees. I obliged until a big playful lab started jumping around in the pond. 

After more running and hill climbing we had to go to the office where Mum was stuck to her phone again. We weren't there long (I hardly had time to nap) before we left and I got to do my most important job at work, charming the customers. We went to a building that had a box that was magic. There was a dog in it that looked just like me and it felt weird and when the doors opened we were in a new place. Mum talked to a nice lady and I gave her kisses and she was very happy. All in a days work.

Back at home it got hotter and hotter and I found some nice shade for napping. Dad came home early and I was so excited I had a wee accident, sorry Mum. Then Mum got my beach bag out and we went to the my favourite beach. Mum said I had to do lots of swimming because it was nearly 35 degrees now. So I did.

I ran with Mum through the warm shallow bits, and then swum a bit. Then Mum went in a deep bit and a leapt in to rescue her and climbed on her head. I didn't try to rescue Dad when he went swimming, he's big enough to look after himself. Instead I rolled in the warm sand and looked for badgers.

Then I went swimming with two little dogs, they were enjoying it, but I wasn't really and told Mum all about it. But she made me swim some more so I got quite vocal while I swum. Mum gave me treats though and said I was a really great swimmer now who can even go against currents. Whatever those are, I thought they were for eating.

So now I'm a tired sausage again. But a very happy one.